1. |
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My name’s Louis
And my name’s Dan
Joining us on stage
Is our invisible band
No, you can’t see ‘em
But we’ll point them out
And with each introduction give a loud, loud shout
First up's Clara on the clarinet!
Her trilling, is so thrilling, she’s a surefire bet.
On the melodica is Albert Lin
He’s a little shy please don’t look right at him
Next up we've got Jenny McQueen
She plays a mean, mean, rock n’ roll tambourine
Last not least on the beautiful bells
Let us introduce you to our friend Manuel
Yeah we’re Louis, and Dan with our invisible band
We are here to entertain ya’
With some of our original songs
We’ll teach you how to sing a long
Yeah We’re Dan and Louis and the band you can see through is
right here on the stage behind us
We hope you’ll find your groove
That you’ll start to move
Yeah we’re Louis, and Dan and our invisible band
We are here to entertain ya’
With some of our original songs
We’ll teach you how to sing a long
Yeah, we’re Dan and Louis and the band you can see through is
Right here on the stage behind us
We hope you’ll find your groove
That you’ll start to move
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the band
I can tell you they’re great looking every woman and man [catcall whistle]
Yes we hope you can stay a while, we’ve got a
full night of music that is just your style
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2. |
Have You Got A Word?
02:58
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Have you got a word that rhymes with “cat”?
It can’t be a word like “dog” or “ball”
Yeah have you got a word that rhymes with “cat”?
Have you got a word like that
Yeah you’ve got some words that rhyme with “cat”
Like “bat”, “hat”, “mat”, “sat”, “fat”, “lat”, “gnat”, “rat” and “scat”
So many words that rhyme with cat
So many words that like that
But have you got a word that rhymes with “dog”
It can't be a word like “hammer” or “chicken”
Have you got a word that rhymes with “dog”?
Have you got a word like that?
Oh yeah you’ve got some words that rhyme with “dog”
Like “log”, “bog”, “frog”, “hog”, “Prague”, “Egg nog”, “jog” and “fog”
Oh yeah so many words that rhyme with dog
So many words that like that
Rhyming, rhyming, rhyming takes some timing
Rhyming, rhyming,
You know Rhymin’ with good timing is so fine oh yes good times finding rhymes
Have you got a word that rhymes with “word”
It can be a word like “nerd” or “verb”
Yeah have you got a word that rhymes with “word”?
Have you got a word like that?
Yeah you’ve got some words that rhyme with “word”
Like “surd”, “bird”, “curd”, “heard”, “third”, “furred”, “password” and “gird”
Oh yeah so many words that rhyme with “word”
So many words that like that
Rhyming, rhyming, rhyming takes some timing
Rhyming, rhyming, you know Rhymin’ with good timing is so fine oh yes good times finding rhymes
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3. |
Underwear Spaghetti
02:00
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Dan: I like to keep spaghetti in my underwear
People say it’s gross but I just don’t care
I’ve been yelled at by my mother I’ve been yelled at by my boss
But they haven’t tasted underwear spaghetti with meat sauce
Louis: Ewwww. Please tell me this is something you only did once as a kid.
Dan: Oh! All the time.
I eat my underwear spaghetti every day for lunch
And sometimes it’s my dinner if it isn’t in a bunch
My sister says it’s dirty but I just don’t care
I love oh yes I love spaghetti in my underwear
Louis: Ok, so that one time I came over to your house for spaghetti with meatballs - was that underwear spaghetti?
Dan: Yup! And actually,
I like to warm up meatballs in my armpits, too
They go good with spaghetti and they make great stew
They’re the perfect blend of salty sweet and spicy I declare
I love to warm up meatballs in my armpit hair
Louis: Well that’s disgusting. Next time I’m at your house, we’re having chicken.
Dan: Sure! I have a great recipe in mind.
I once marinated chicken in my cowboy boot
With a drop of olive oil and some ginger root
When I baked it in the oven well I learned a thing or two
Cause the chicken tasted yummy but the boot was hard to chew
I like to keep spaghetti in my underwear
People say it’s gross but I just don’t care
If you haven’t tasted underwear spaghetti, not to fear -
Why it’s your lucky day cause I have tons in here!
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4. |
Rodents
04:09
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Rodents: of the order rodentia
Almost half of all mammals are
Their kind. So populous are rodents
Rodents. Everywhere but Antartica
Even the arctic, yah
The arctic! It has rodents
Capybara! The largest rodentia
Found in South America
Live in dense forests and savannas
Related! to cute little guinea pigs
But they won’t do as a pet
Just sharing facts about some
Rodents. Date back to the Paleocene (at least!)
Marked out by incisor teeth
That grow and grow continuously
Rodents. Went to Australia and New Guinea
With no help from human beings
The only terrestrial placental mammals that did that you see!
Baluchistan pygmy jerboa. Is the smallest rodentia
Not a lot on wikipedia
About this dwarf three-toed jerboa
Here’s something! They can induce hypothermia
To live on little food and water
Just sharing facts about some rodents
Louis: Is a mole a rodent?
Daniel: No, because they don’t have a single pair of continuously growing incisors in each of the upper and lower jaws
Louis: But a vole is a rodent?
Daniel: Obviously, because...
Louis: Let me guess. Incisors.
Daniel: yup
Rodents. Some have cheek pouches lined with fur
They can be turned inside out, for sure,
It’s true! amazing things some rodents do
Rodents. Can recognize family
By smelling their poo and pee
That’s gross! But nature can be strange you see
Rabbits! The cutest rodentia!
So fluffy and cuddly ahhh!
They lay chocolate eggs one time each year
Rabbits! With big ears and wiggle noses
Dan: Louis! They’re not rodents!
Louis: No? Really? What are they?
Lagomorphs. Are related to rodentia
They share a great great great great grandmama
But lagomorphs are not rodentia
Now back to rodents, you’ve learned so much you see?
Wherever you are really
You know you’ll be sitting by some rodents.
Right beside you
But you can’t see them.
But they’re everywhere.
(Except Antarctica)
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5. |
Yupster Food Song
01:29
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Kid: Hey Dad. I’m hungry. Can I have a snack?
Dad: Of course. Let’s what we’ve got. All kinds of choices.
Hummus and jicama sticks, eggs and edamame
Lettuce wraps, carrot frappes, roasted plantain flambe
Cauli rice and water ice, blueberry biscuits
Energy squares and honey bears, red pepper Triscuits
Kid: Can I just have some toast with butter?
Dad: Sure, ! Would you like:
Almond butter? Cashew butter? Hazelnut butter? Macadamia nut butter? Clarified butter (known as ghee). Sesame butter that’s tahini?
Kid: Uhhh…
Kale chips, quinoa puffs, salad made with bulgar
Avocado toast, tofurkey roast, yogurt with live cultures
Coconut squares organic pears, carob chip cookies
Unsalted nuts, spelt donuts, olive oil goodies
Kid: How about just something to drink?
Dad: Sure! Would you like: Almond milk, oat milk, soy milk, goats milk, rice milk, lactose free milk
Kid: How about some chocolate milk
Dad: Ha ha! Good one!
Seven ancient grains, celery straws, broccoli, kolrabi,
Couscous bars, kimchi in jars, peas with wasabi
Brussel sprouts, cedar smoked trout, homemade granola
Bean stew, lentils too, paired with shakshouka
Kid: STOP! STOP!
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6. |
Hot Dog
01:42
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Hot Dog! All I want is a hot dog! Not a tofu dog a hot dog
[Frankfurter or brat, I'll eat anything that's hot, I wanna]
Hot dog! All I want is a hot dog. Just a yummy hot dog
[Starts as shiny pink paste, add ammonia to taste, I wanna]
Hot dog yeah yeah Mama. Mama please! Mama please! Just a one more, just a little bitty hot dog
[Beef or pork or donkey or horse, I wanna]
Hot Dog. Yeah. Don't need a bun just a plain old hot dog. Pop it on the grill just a little hot dog
[Litte or a lotta chipolata or kielbasa, I wanna]
Yes Mama please. Yeah! Just a little bit of ketchup, a little mustard on it
[Mustard yes and ketchup no, we used to live in Chicago!]
Hot dog please! Give it to me now.
[Weeny or wurst, I want the flavor burst of a boiled or grilled I'll even eat it chilled, I wanna]
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7. |
Big Eared Boy
02:49
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Oh big eared boy
Look at me I’ve got ‘em too
So did my Abba who
Got ‘em from my Oupa. But that was long before you
Sometimes the sun shines through
And turns those dishes deep red
It's like you’ve got stained glass attached to the side of your head
Oh big eared boy
once a president named Barack
Wrote you a letter saying “Big ears rock!"
He said, “The things that make us different are the very things that make us strong"
But they attract mosquito bites
Cause they stick out like SETI satellites
You might hear the aliens before the rest of us do
(big eared boy)
You’re a superhearer flying high
(big eared boy)
Recognizable from far and wide
(big eared boy)
Bring your auditory might
To share the joys of nature’s noise with all of us tonight
Oh big eared boy
Be proud of all that you’ve got
Some have little, you’ve got a lot
It’s a thing that makes you special, and you look just like your pop
So cut your hair short, keep it trim
Set your flappers free in the wind
It’s a magical feeling, just let it blow in
(big eared boy)
You’re a superhearer flying high
(big eared boy)
Recognizable from far and wide
(big eared boy)
Bring your auditory might
To share the joys of nature’s noise with boys and girls and bugs and squirrels and all of us tonight
Oh big eared boy
I know that it can be hard
But it’s our family’s giant calling card
And pumping all that blood up there, it gives us really big hearts
It might sound like I’m making fun
But you’re beautiful A #1
And hey, I wouldn’t want to have a small eared boy as my son
My big eared boy
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8. |
Desperado Clio
03:22
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Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio!
Wears her diapers backwards, onesies inside out
Tornado sirens sound when she unholsters her pout
Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio!
Has her veggies raw and milk spiked with cream
Digs in the garden in clothes freshly cleaned
Her glare’s intimidating, man you want her on your team
She rolled into the kitchen on her Rumba. The locals looked away - they didn't want any trouble. She made her demands: Graham crackers. Peanut butter. A pony. That one stuffed monkey they had thrown away after it fell in the toilet. And something they just couldn’t make out, something that sounded like "miggies." When they had done all they could to appease her, she sped off in a cloud of dust. But they knew she'd be back.
Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio!
Screams blue murder when it's time to rest
Looks incredibly adorable in a Boden vest
Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio!
Wears her filthy bug shirt every day
Can’t be resisted when she wants to play
If it's time to go she says it's time to stay
She rolled in again just as they knew she would. This time her demands were more extreme. She wanted ALL the blue M&M’s; she wanted to stay up until 7.30. She wanted to watch one episode of Puffin Rock over and over and over and over again. And when she didn’t get everything she wanted, she lay waste to the kitchen before hopping on her rumba and riding off into the sunroom.
Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio!
You’re one tough cookie but a joy extreme
A thousand watt smile and so many dreams
With heart so warm why it can melt ice cream
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9. |
Confused Animals
03:41
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Went to a farm out on highway 19,
the farmer called up, said “There’s something to see.
I got a real problem, a pickle, a kink
My animals are off, got a virus methinks
I’ve seen a lot of stuff, but this is one of a kind
You gotta help me, man, I’m going out of my mind
I got to the barn the farmer said “Look!
The animals are wonky, yeah right off the hook”
Well I peeked in, it all looked normal to me
But then I heard what he meant and I nearly peed
Something had happened that would have shocked their own mothers
Every animal had traded his own sounds for another’s
The horses said "Oink"
The Piggies said "Moo"
The Cows said "Quack"
The Ducks "Cocka doodle doo"
The Chickens said "Baa"
The Sheep said "Neigh"
The llamas said “Yo!”
(That’s something llamas never say)
“You’re all just confused animals, go back to your huts”
I went to my truck and I grabbed my supplies
A stethoscope, a wrench, and a little surprise
See I got a new treatment better than a vaccine
I built a real high tech, experimental machine
If all goes well then it should turn things around
Every animal will end up reunited with their sound
I set up my machine, and I gave it a kick
Things were looking dire so I had to work quick
But I cut a few corners, skipped a step maybe four
Ignored an alarm, when I opened the door
It blasted out smoke but then it started up smooth
It was almost time to put the animals through, BECAUSE
The horses said "Oink"
The Piggies said "Moo"
The Cows said "Quack"
The Ducks "Cocka doodle doo"
The Chickens said "Baa"
The Sheep said "Neigh"
The llamas said “Yo!”
(That’s something llamas never say)
“You’re all just confused animals, go back to your huts”
With a curious look the farmer peaked in
He saw how it worked and he started to grin
He leaned in close, and the next thing I knew
He fell right in, all I could see were his shoes
There was clicking there was clacking, then a horrible “scruck”
And when the farmer came out, he went “Buck, buck buck”
The horses said "Oink"
The Piggies said "Moo"
The Cows said "Quack"
The Ducks "Cocka doodle doo"
The Chickens said "Baa"
The Sheep said "Neigh"
The Farmer said "Buck!"
(That’s something farmers never say)
“You’re all just confused animals, go back to your huts”
They’re all still confused animals, we’re back to square one.
(But a farmer that bucs like a chicken, well that’s kind of fun)
(Guess I better go perfect my machine, it’s clearly not done.)
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10. |
10m Diving Board
03:13
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I went right to the top of the 10m diving board
I am staring down wondering what I did that for
There is a line of people down below and they’re telling me to jump
I guess I just didn’t realize how high 10 meters is up
When I was down on the ground the board didn’t look so high
I think it must have grown as I climbed up the side
There is a line of people, it’s getting longer, patience is wearing thin
I guess I will creep to the edge to buy time, but I’m not jumping in!
My toes are curled up tight and my fists are in a ball
My considered opinion is diving boards aren’t fun at all
There is a line of people down below and they’re now saying “hurry up!”
I guess I have no choice, here I go, I’m going to jump
That was awesome!! Oh yeah, that was awesome
Let’s do it again and again and again
Oh yeah! That was awesome!
Hey, hey that was awesome
Oh yeah that was awesome
Let’s jump from the top all summer long oh yeah that was awesome
Oh yeah that was awesome
Oh yeah that was awesome
Let’s do it again and again and again
That was...AWESOME
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11. |
What Do Princesses Do?
03:30
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What do princesses do when they grow up?
Belle is bookish that’s for sure
They called her “Beauty” but she’s much more
Went to college for a BSc
In molecular chemistry
Went on for her PhD
Spent countless hours in a laboratory
“What are you studying?” asked the Beast.
Belle said “I’m looking at baker’s yeast.”
Found an advisor, hit the books
Interviewed over a hundred cooks
Helped them get increasing yields
Became the top scholar in her chosen field
She came back to her hometown
Sporting a brand new a doctoral gown
Folks in town all stopped their chores
Too surprised to say “bonjour!”
She’s a beauty that’s for sure
But Belle grew up to be much so more
What do princesses do when they grow up?
What do princesses do when they grow up?
Cinderella capitalized
On the glass shoe’s perfect fit and size
Moved to central Germany
Opened up a glass shoe factory
Brought out a line of copper shoes,
Then plastic shoes, then rubber shoes
Made the front covers of Forbes and Time
Everyone praised her shoe designs
She thought back from whence she came
Saw her stepmom was in so much pain
Invented shoes to soothe her feet, her
Stepmom became so so much sweeter
The Prince gave up the royal palace
Handed over his crown and chalice
Stayed at home to be a dad
Keeping Cindy’s stylish pad
and their large large brood of wee wee lads
What do princesses do when they grow up?
Jasmine grew up rich and spoiled
Watched all her subjects sweat and toil
Rubbed the lamp for the blue genie,
Wished for an end to inequality!
Jasmine found she was transformed
Into a principled leader warning
Politicians left and right
“Make good use of political might!”
Jasmine’s movement grew and grew
Other princesses said “Me too!”
Joined in the struggle to end the plight
Of poverty and social blight
When she’d found enough allies
Formed coalitions of sufficient size
To expose politicians’ lies,
Open up the people’s eyes,
End injustice in their lives,
For that, she won the Nobel Prize...
That’s what do princesses do when they grow up
That’s what do princesses do when they grow up
They do science and math, invent things too
Oh yes when they grow up that’s what princesses do
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12. |
Cry My Baby
04:56
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Cry my baby
Cry my child
Did you trip and fall? Did you skin your knee?
Running at the park? Climbing up a tree?
Did you knock your head? Did you hurt your arm?
Going down the slide? Playing far too hard?
Weep my baby,
Weep my child
Did they leave you out? Did they mock your looks?
Or your dirty shoes? Or your love of books?
Do you feel a fool? Like you’re all alone?
Like the world’s unfair? Wanna stay at home?
I know it’s hard to believe, but Mom and Dad know just how you feel
You see kid, we were once kids just like you
Sometimes there’s nothin’ to do, but just cry and let it run through ya
We’ll be here to help you on your way
Sigh my baby
Sigh my child
Did he say goodbye? Did she want to part?
Do you feel ashamed? Want to close your heart?
Now the days feel long, the nights longer still
It’s ok cry, and ok to feel
We know it hurts real bad, we’ve been there, it’s true! We’ve been sad.
Yeah you see kid, we were once kids just like you
Now try to settle your mind, these things they just take time
And we’ll be here to help you make it through
Sleep my baby
Sleep my child
Close your eyes my love, let me stroke your hair
While you fall asleep, life can be unfair
Did he say goodbye? Did she break your heart?
Oh this too shall pass. Make a brand new start
Let me hold your hand, let me hold you tight
I know things are tough, but they’ll be alright
Do you feel alone? Like you’ve been a fool?
Oh my darling child, you’re a shining jewel
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Louis and Dan and The Invisible Band Northfield, Minnesota
Louis & Dan bring comedy and smarts to music for today’s families. Best friends, neighbors, and college professors (Louis teaches musicology at St. Olaf College, Dan teaches philosophy at Carleton College), they go together like Tacos and Tuesdays. Louis & Dan’s inimitable style of humor, seriousness, and musical sophistication delivers songs you’ll be humming all day. ... more
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