Louis and Dan and The Invisible Band

by Louis and Dan and The Invisible Band

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1.
My name’s Louis And my name’s Dan Joining us on stage Is our invisible band No, you can’t see ‘em But we’ll point them out And with each introduction give a loud, loud shout First up's Clara on the clarinet! Her trilling, is so thrilling, she’s a surefire bet. On the melodica is Albert Lin He’s a little shy please don’t look right at him Next up we've got Jenny McQueen She plays a mean, mean, rock n’ roll tambourine Last not least on the beautiful bells Let us introduce you to our friend Manuel Yeah we’re Louis, and Dan with our invisible band We are here to entertain ya’ With some of our original songs We’ll teach you how to sing a long Yeah We’re Dan and Louis and the band you can see through is right here on the stage behind us We hope you’ll find your groove That you’ll start to move Yeah we’re Louis, and Dan and our invisible band We are here to entertain ya’ With some of our original songs We’ll teach you how to sing a long Yeah, we’re Dan and Louis and the band you can see through is Right here on the stage behind us We hope you’ll find your groove That you’ll start to move Sit back, relax, and enjoy the band I can tell you they’re great looking every woman and man [catcall whistle] Yes we hope you can stay a while, we’ve got a full night of music that is just your style
2.
Have you got a word that rhymes with “cat”? It can’t be a word like “dog” or “ball” Yeah have you got a word that rhymes with “cat”? Have you got a word like that Yeah you’ve got some words that rhyme with “cat” Like “bat”, “hat”, “mat”, “sat”, “fat”, “lat”, “gnat”, “rat” and “scat” So many words that rhyme with cat So many words that like that But have you got a word that rhymes with “dog” It can't be a word like “hammer” or “chicken” Have you got a word that rhymes with “dog”? Have you got a word like that? Oh yeah you’ve got some words that rhyme with “dog” Like “log”, “bog”, “frog”, “hog”, “Prague”, “Egg nog”, “jog” and “fog” Oh yeah so many words that rhyme with dog So many words that like that Rhyming, rhyming, rhyming takes some timing Rhyming, rhyming, You know Rhymin’ with good timing is so fine oh yes good times finding rhymes Have you got a word that rhymes with “word” It can be a word like “nerd” or “verb” Yeah have you got a word that rhymes with “word”? Have you got a word like that? Yeah you’ve got some words that rhyme with “word” Like “surd”, “bird”, “curd”, “heard”, “third”, “furred”, “password” and “gird” Oh yeah so many words that rhyme with “word” So many words that like that Rhyming, rhyming, rhyming takes some timing Rhyming, rhyming, you know Rhymin’ with good timing is so fine oh yes good times finding rhymes
3.
Dan: I like to keep spaghetti in my underwear People say it’s gross but I just don’t care I’ve been yelled at by my mother I’ve been yelled at by my boss But they haven’t tasted underwear spaghetti with meat sauce Louis: Ewwww. Please tell me this is something you only did once as a kid. Dan: Oh! All the time. I eat my underwear spaghetti every day for lunch And sometimes it’s my dinner if it isn’t in a bunch My sister says it’s dirty but I just don’t care I love oh yes I love spaghetti in my underwear Louis: Ok, so that one time I came over to your house for spaghetti with meatballs - was that underwear spaghetti? Dan: Yup! And actually, I like to warm up meatballs in my armpits, too They go good with spaghetti and they make great stew They’re the perfect blend of salty sweet and spicy I declare I love to warm up meatballs in my armpit hair Louis: Well that’s disgusting. Next time I’m at your house, we’re having chicken. Dan: Sure! I have a great recipe in mind. I once marinated chicken in my cowboy boot With a drop of olive oil and some ginger root When I baked it in the oven well I learned a thing or two Cause the chicken tasted yummy but the boot was hard to chew I like to keep spaghetti in my underwear People say it’s gross but I just don’t care If you haven’t tasted underwear spaghetti, not to fear - Why it’s your lucky day cause I have tons in here!
4.
Rodents 04:09
Rodents: of the order rodentia Almost half of all mammals are Their kind. So populous are rodents Rodents. Everywhere but Antartica Even the arctic, yah The arctic! It has rodents Capybara! The largest rodentia Found in South America Live in dense forests and savannas Related! to cute little guinea pigs But they won’t do as a pet Just sharing facts about some Rodents. Date back to the Paleocene (at least!) Marked out by incisor teeth That grow and grow continuously Rodents. Went to Australia and New Guinea With no help from human beings The only terrestrial placental mammals that did that you see! Baluchistan pygmy jerboa. Is the smallest rodentia Not a lot on wikipedia About this dwarf three-toed jerboa Here’s something! They can induce hypothermia To live on little food and water Just sharing facts about some rodents Louis: Is a mole a rodent? Daniel: No, because they don’t have a single pair of continuously growing incisors in each of the upper and lower jaws Louis: But a vole is a rodent? Daniel: Obviously, because... Louis: Let me guess. Incisors. Daniel: yup Rodents. Some have cheek pouches lined with fur They can be turned inside out, for sure, It’s true! amazing things some rodents do Rodents. Can recognize family By smelling their poo and pee That’s gross! But nature can be strange you see Rabbits! The cutest rodentia! So fluffy and cuddly ahhh! They lay chocolate eggs one time each year Rabbits! With big ears and wiggle noses Dan: Louis! They’re not rodents! Louis: No? Really? What are they? Lagomorphs. Are related to rodentia They share a great great great great grandmama But lagomorphs are not rodentia Now back to rodents, you’ve learned so much you see? Wherever you are really You know you’ll be sitting by some rodents. Right beside you But you can’t see them. But they’re everywhere. (Except Antarctica)
5.
Kid: Hey Dad. I’m hungry. Can I have a snack? Dad: Of course. Let’s what we’ve got. All kinds of choices. Hummus and jicama sticks, eggs and edamame Lettuce wraps, carrot frappes, roasted plantain flambe Cauli rice and water ice, blueberry biscuits Energy squares and honey bears, red pepper Triscuits Kid: Can I just have some toast with butter? Dad: Sure, ! Would you like: Almond butter? Cashew butter? Hazelnut butter? Macadamia nut butter? Clarified butter (known as ghee). Sesame butter that’s tahini? Kid: Uhhh… Kale chips, quinoa puffs, salad made with bulgar Avocado toast, tofurkey roast, yogurt with live cultures Coconut squares organic pears, carob chip cookies Unsalted nuts, spelt donuts, olive oil goodies Kid: How about just something to drink? Dad: Sure! Would you like: Almond milk, oat milk, soy milk, goats milk, rice milk, lactose free milk Kid: How about some chocolate milk Dad: Ha ha! Good one! Seven ancient grains, celery straws, broccoli, kolrabi, Couscous bars, kimchi in jars, peas with wasabi Brussel sprouts, cedar smoked trout, homemade granola Bean stew, lentils too, paired with shakshouka Kid: STOP! STOP!
6.
Hot Dog 01:42
Hot Dog! All I want is a hot dog! Not a tofu dog a hot dog [Frankfurter or brat, I'll eat anything that's hot, I wanna] Hot dog! All I want is a hot dog. Just a yummy hot dog [Starts as shiny pink paste, add ammonia to taste, I wanna] Hot dog yeah yeah Mama. Mama please! Mama please! Just a one more, just a little bitty hot dog [Beef or pork or donkey or horse, I wanna] Hot Dog. Yeah. Don't need a bun just a plain old hot dog. Pop it on the grill just a little hot dog [Litte or a lotta chipolata or kielbasa, I wanna] Yes Mama please. Yeah! Just a little bit of ketchup, a little mustard on it [Mustard yes and ketchup no, we used to live in Chicago!] Hot dog please! Give it to me now. [Weeny or wurst, I want the flavor burst of a boiled or grilled I'll even eat it chilled, I wanna]
7.
Oh big eared boy Look at me I’ve got ‘em too So did my Abba who Got ‘em from my Oupa. But that was long before you Sometimes the sun shines through And turns those dishes deep red It's like you’ve got stained glass attached to the side of your head Oh big eared boy once a president named Barack Wrote you a letter saying “Big ears rock!" He said, “The things that make us different are the very things that make us strong" But they attract mosquito bites Cause they stick out like SETI satellites You might hear the aliens before the rest of us do (big eared boy) You’re a superhearer flying high (big eared boy) Recognizable from far and wide (big eared boy) Bring your auditory might To share the joys of nature’s noise with all of us tonight Oh big eared boy Be proud of all that you’ve got Some have little, you’ve got a lot It’s a thing that makes you special, and you look just like your pop So cut your hair short, keep it trim Set your flappers free in the wind It’s a magical feeling, just let it blow in (big eared boy) You’re a superhearer flying high (big eared boy) Recognizable from far and wide (big eared boy) Bring your auditory might To share the joys of nature’s noise with boys and girls and bugs and squirrels and all of us tonight Oh big eared boy I know that it can be hard But it’s our family’s giant calling card And pumping all that blood up there, it gives us really big hearts It might sound like I’m making fun But you’re beautiful A #1 And hey, I wouldn’t want to have a small eared boy as my son My big eared boy
8.
Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio! Wears her diapers backwards, onesies inside out Tornado sirens sound when she unholsters her pout Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio! Has her veggies raw and milk spiked with cream Digs in the garden in clothes freshly cleaned Her glare’s intimidating, man you want her on your team She rolled into the kitchen on her Rumba. The locals looked away - they didn't want any trouble. She made her demands: Graham crackers. Peanut butter. A pony. That one stuffed monkey they had thrown away after it fell in the toilet. And something they just couldn’t make out, something that sounded like "miggies." When they had done all they could to appease her, she sped off in a cloud of dust. But they knew she'd be back. Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio! Screams blue murder when it's time to rest Looks incredibly adorable in a Boden vest Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio! Wears her filthy bug shirt every day Can’t be resisted when she wants to play If it's time to go she says it's time to stay She rolled in again just as they knew she would. This time her demands were more extreme. She wanted ALL the blue M&M’s; she wanted to stay up until 7.30. She wanted to watch one episode of Puffin Rock over and over and over and over again. And when she didn’t get everything she wanted, she lay waste to the kitchen before hopping on her rumba and riding off into the sunroom. Desperado Clio! Desperado Clio! You’re one tough cookie but a joy extreme A thousand watt smile and so many dreams With heart so warm why it can melt ice cream
9.
Went to a farm out on highway 19, the farmer called up, said “There’s something to see. I got a real problem, a pickle, a kink My animals are off, got a virus methinks I’ve seen a lot of stuff, but this is one of a kind You gotta help me, man, I’m going out of my mind I got to the barn the farmer said “Look! The animals are wonky, yeah right off the hook” Well I peeked in, it all looked normal to me But then I heard what he meant and I nearly peed Something had happened that would have shocked their own mothers Every animal had traded his own sounds for another’s The horses said "Oink" The Piggies said "Moo" The Cows said "Quack" The Ducks "Cocka doodle doo" The Chickens said "Baa" The Sheep said "Neigh" The llamas said “Yo!” (That’s something llamas never say) “You’re all just confused animals, go back to your huts” I went to my truck and I grabbed my supplies A stethoscope, a wrench, and a little surprise See I got a new treatment better than a vaccine I built a real high tech, experimental machine If all goes well then it should turn things around Every animal will end up reunited with their sound I set up my machine, and I gave it a kick Things were looking dire so I had to work quick But I cut a few corners, skipped a step maybe four Ignored an alarm, when I opened the door It blasted out smoke but then it started up smooth It was almost time to put the animals through, BECAUSE The horses said "Oink" The Piggies said "Moo" The Cows said "Quack" The Ducks "Cocka doodle doo" The Chickens said "Baa" The Sheep said "Neigh" The llamas said “Yo!” (That’s something llamas never say) “You’re all just confused animals, go back to your huts” With a curious look the farmer peaked in He saw how it worked and he started to grin He leaned in close, and the next thing I knew He fell right in, all I could see were his shoes There was clicking there was clacking, then a horrible “scruck” And when the farmer came out, he went “Buck, buck buck” The horses said "Oink" The Piggies said "Moo" The Cows said "Quack" The Ducks "Cocka doodle doo" The Chickens said "Baa" The Sheep said "Neigh" The Farmer said "Buck!" (That’s something farmers never say) “You’re all just confused animals, go back to your huts” They’re all still confused animals, we’re back to square one. (But a farmer that bucs like a chicken, well that’s kind of fun) (Guess I better go perfect my machine, it’s clearly not done.)
10.
I went right to the top of the 10m diving board I am staring down wondering what I did that for There is a line of people down below and they’re telling me to jump I guess I just didn’t realize how high 10 meters is up When I was down on the ground the board didn’t look so high I think it must have grown as I climbed up the side There is a line of people, it’s getting longer, patience is wearing thin I guess I will creep to the edge to buy time, but I’m not jumping in! My toes are curled up tight and my fists are in a ball My considered opinion is diving boards aren’t fun at all There is a line of people down below and they’re now saying “hurry up!” I guess I have no choice, here I go, I’m going to jump That was awesome!! Oh yeah, that was awesome Let’s do it again and again and again Oh yeah! That was awesome! Hey, hey that was awesome Oh yeah that was awesome Let’s jump from the top all summer long oh yeah that was awesome Oh yeah that was awesome Oh yeah that was awesome Let’s do it again and again and again That was...AWESOME
11.
What do princesses do when they grow up? Belle is bookish that’s for sure They called her “Beauty” but she’s much more Went to college for a BSc In molecular chemistry Went on for her PhD Spent countless hours in a laboratory “What are you studying?” asked the Beast. Belle said “I’m looking at baker’s yeast.” Found an advisor, hit the books Interviewed over a hundred cooks Helped them get increasing yields Became the top scholar in her chosen field She came back to her hometown Sporting a brand new a doctoral gown Folks in town all stopped their chores Too surprised to say “bonjour!” She’s a beauty that’s for sure But Belle grew up to be much so more What do princesses do when they grow up? What do princesses do when they grow up? Cinderella capitalized On the glass shoe’s perfect fit and size Moved to central Germany Opened up a glass shoe factory Brought out a line of copper shoes, Then plastic shoes, then rubber shoes Made the front covers of Forbes and Time Everyone praised her shoe designs She thought back from whence she came Saw her stepmom was in so much pain Invented shoes to soothe her feet, her Stepmom became so so much sweeter The Prince gave up the royal palace Handed over his crown and chalice Stayed at home to be a dad Keeping Cindy’s stylish pad and their large large brood of wee wee lads What do princesses do when they grow up? Jasmine grew up rich and spoiled Watched all her subjects sweat and toil Rubbed the lamp for the blue genie, Wished for an end to inequality! Jasmine found she was transformed Into a principled leader warning Politicians left and right “Make good use of political might!” Jasmine’s movement grew and grew Other princesses said “Me too!” Joined in the struggle to end the plight Of poverty and social blight When she’d found enough allies Formed coalitions of sufficient size To expose politicians’ lies, Open up the people’s eyes, End injustice in their lives, For that, she won the Nobel Prize... That’s what do princesses do when they grow up That’s what do princesses do when they grow up They do science and math, invent things too Oh yes when they grow up that’s what princesses do
12.
Cry My Baby 04:56
Cry my baby Cry my child Did you trip and fall? Did you skin your knee? Running at the park? Climbing up a tree? Did you knock your head? Did you hurt your arm? Going down the slide? Playing far too hard? Weep my baby, Weep my child Did they leave you out? Did they mock your looks? Or your dirty shoes? Or your love of books? Do you feel a fool? Like you’re all alone? Like the world’s unfair? Wanna stay at home? I know it’s hard to believe, but Mom and Dad know just how you feel You see kid, we were once kids just like you Sometimes there’s nothin’ to do, but just cry and let it run through ya We’ll be here to help you on your way Sigh my baby Sigh my child Did he say goodbye? Did she want to part? Do you feel ashamed? Want to close your heart? Now the days feel long, the nights longer still It’s ok cry, and ok to feel We know it hurts real bad, we’ve been there, it’s true! We’ve been sad. Yeah you see kid, we were once kids just like you Now try to settle your mind, these things they just take time And we’ll be here to help you make it through Sleep my baby Sleep my child Close your eyes my love, let me stroke your hair While you fall asleep, life can be unfair Did he say goodbye? Did she break your heart? Oh this too shall pass. Make a brand new start Let me hold your hand, let me hold you tight I know things are tough, but they’ll be alright Do you feel alone? Like you’ve been a fool? Oh my darling child, you’re a shining jewel

about

In their debut album, Louis and Dan and The Invisible Band will have you singing and dancing to their catchy, touching songs about rodents, princesses, hot dogs, and growing up.

credits

released February 22, 2019

All songs written and performed by Louis Epstein and Daniel Groll with help from Matt Patrick.

Featuring JC Sanford on tuba (track 1) and trombone (track 10); Rahm, Freya, Eleanor and Aubin on rhymes (track 2); John Munson on bass (tracks 4 and 11); Ken Pierce on lead vocals (track 6); Mike Fuerstein on tenor saxophone (track 6); Desperado Clio on voiceover (track 8); and Eleanor Groll on lead vocals (track 10).

Produced by Louis Epstein, Daniel Groll, and Matt Patrick.
Recorded at the Library Recording Studio
Mixed by Matt Patrick
Mastered by Jason Decker
Album design by David Huyck (c) 2019.

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Louis and Dan and The Invisible Band Northfield, Minnesota

Louis and Dan live across the street from each other in Northfield, MN. Louis lives on one side of the street. Dan lives on the other. Louis teaches at St. Olaf College. Dan teaches at Carleton College. Louis is short. Dan is tall. Louis is young. Dan is old. By rights they should be mortal enemies. But they’re best friends who write songs about rodents, princesses, and hot dogs. ... more

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